science fiction tagged posts

This drinking game is to be played with After Earth and whatever beer you can find. I recommend you play with a beer that won’t make you all aggressive so that you don’t smash your TV when you get sick of Jaden Smith’s face.

1 drink – every time Jaden Smith’s suit changes colors
1 drink – every time the cutlass changes shapes
1 drink – every time Smith coats his lungs with liquid
1 drink – every time you see a creature
1 drink – every time Jaden Smith looks like he’s going to cry
1 drink – every time someone has a flashback
1 drink – every time someone says “sir”

I like to go into movies knowing almost nothing about them… which is the only way I would have ever reviewed After Earth. Had I known it was a Shyamaladingdong movie, I probably would have avoided it like the plague. But as the credits rolled, and his name popped up… it all began to make sense. We have the requisite bad acting, the reliance on a child to carry a movie, and the always great promise with the disappointing delivery. Yep, After Earth is just another Shyamalamadingdong pile of shit. All it’s missing is the stupidly predictable twist.

After Earth is a tale of a father and son. The son sucks in every way imaginable, from his face to being a giant pussy. The father is understandably cold and seems to hate his child as much as the audience does...