The Box Trolls – Drinking Game

the box trolls

This drinking game is to be played with The Box Trolls and a box of cheap wine. When you’re done with the game, you can put the box on your head and pretend you’re a box troll by the name of Franzia.

1 drink – every time a box troll hides in their box
1 drink – every time someone says “Eggs”
1 drink – every time someone says “Fish”
1 drink – every time you see cheese or someone says cheese
1 drink – every time someone says “Jelly”
1 drink – every time Lord Portley-Rind plays with his mustache

The White Hat Special: Drink 3 times every time you see a white hat on the screen.

The Box Troll Special: Pick a box troll. Every time you see the logo on their box is visible, you must chug your drink. This one probably works better with beer.

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The Box Trolls – Movie Review

the box trolls

When I first heard the title of The Box Trolls, my brain was filled with humorous images of people trolling boxes… like, “I’m gonna stick it in! Just kidding, no I’m not. Wait… yeah, here it comes.” Unfortunately, rather than being a movie about teasing the box, which could actually make a great porn parody, The Box Trolls is an inappropriately titled kid’s movie. Brought to us by Laika Entertainment, the animation studio that brought us Coraline and ParaNorman, The Box Trolls appears to finally be that movie that children can connect with, rather than just be creeped out by. While the good folks at Laika probably live in dark rooms surrounded by Tim Burton paraphernalia, they’ve finally realized that spewing up Tim Burton-inspired films is no longer as profitable as it once was...

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The Purge: Anarchy – Drinking Game

the purge anarchy

This drinking game is to be played with The Purge: Anarchy and some beer.

1 drink – every time someone says “stay safe”
1 drink – every time someone says “purge”
1 drink – every time someone dies
1 drink – every time you see or hear how much time is left until the purge
1 drink – every time you see someone in a mask
1 drink – every time you hear awful social commentary
1 drink – every time you see an American flag

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The Purge: Anarchy (2014) – Movie Review

the purge anarchy

The Purge Anarchy is anything but an anarchistic thrill ride. If anything it’s so ordered and bland that it should probably be titled The Purge: Bigger But Somehow Less Interesting. I wanted to like this sequel, but in the end, I was met with a similar feeling to when you hear that a rapist was killed in jail… meh.

The first Purge flick was a solid, single location thriller that cashed in on an impressive marketing campaign and a premise that promised more than it actually delivered. It was light on the commentary and seemed rather pointless overall, which was its biggest problem. When the sequel came along, I wasn’t expecting much more than some more of the same...

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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes – Drinking Game

Dawn-of-the-Planet-of-the-Apes1

This drinking game is to be played with Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and some beer. I say you play it with some Monkey Face Porter by Cascade Lakes Brewing.

1 drink – every time someone says “human”
1 drink – every time someone or something dies
1 drink – every time someone fires a gun
1 drink – every time you see a scar
1 drink – every time someone says “ape” or “apes”

The Orangutan Challenge: Drink continuously every time you see the orangutan.

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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) – Movie Review

Dawn-of-the-Planet-of-the-Apes1

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes if a fantastic movie. Whatever you thought of the first film, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is a vast improvement on it. Where the first film was a meek, somewhat bland origin story bogged down by the presence of James Franco, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes manages to balance everything just right. There will be times when you side with the humans and times when you side with the apes, which creates a balance that the first film did not have.

In this movie, it has been some time since the apes escaped to the forest. A flu has managed to decimate the entire world’s human population, and the apes believe that they are alone in the world, living in their own utopian society in the trees...

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Deliver Us from Evil – Drinking Game

deliver us from evil

This drinking game is to be played with Deliver Us from Evil and some beer.

1 drink – every time you see paint
1 drink – every time you see those spooky hieroglyphics
1 drink – every time Sarchie hears static
1 drink – every time Sarchie hears giggling
1 drink – every time Sarchie sees a bloody face
1 drink – every time someone says “radar”

The Break on Through Special: Drink continuously every time you hear a soul-sucking Doors tune. Take a drink anytime you see or hear a Doors reference.

The Trayvon Special: Drink every time you see someone in a hoodie.

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Deliver Us from Evil (2014) – Movie Review

deliver us from evil

Don’t you just love Hollywood’s trite media machinations? Exhibit #1: Deliver Us from Evil. The film was billed as a cross between Seven (I refuse to type it the stupid way.) and The Exorcist. What self-respecting horror fan could stay away from such a combination? As it turns out, most of them, except for me. I really wanted to see a combination of Seven and The Exorcist. Instead, all I got was a wannabe franchise starter that rips a lot from last year’s The Conjuring.

The film is the bullshit story (aka based on true events) of a detective named Ralph Sarchie, an NYPD detective who has seen it all in his day...

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Monster Killer (2013) – Movie Review

MK_Andrew1

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed an independent movie, mostly because of the lack of originality and fun that seems to come part and parcel with the micro-budget genre. Having worked on my own movie over the last few years, I’ve come to gain a new appreciation for the genre, while at the same time finding myself being even harsher on them. So, without further adieu, let’s take a look at Monster Killer.

Before you get all excited about the title, realize that Monster Killer is a much more mellow, perhaps even philosophic, film. No one is going to go running around taking out real monsters. Instead, what we have is a tale of inter-dimensional survival...

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Godzilla – Drinking Game

godzilla

This drinking game is to be played with Godzilla and plenty of Japanese beer.

1 drink – every time someone says “Godzilla”
1 drink – every time Godzilla screams
1 drink – every time someone says “radiation”
1 drink – every time someone says “Muto”
1 drink – every time something breaks
1 drink – every time someone fires an ineffectual weapon at a monster

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